EM makes fun of my height to try to win an argument; So I return the favor with all of her flaws
Found on https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents. Posted by u/sgv0003
I’m turning 27 in a few weeks, and stand at meager 5’2″. Because of my height, people have never taken me seriously, and it will probably be a long time before anyone does. Most of the time, I try to keep myself busy and not think about it, but in my private moments, I find myself hating this accursed height, or when I’m feeling moody. PLEASE DON’T LEAVE COMFORTING COMMENTS. They only make me more miserable.
Cast:
Me: (insert snarky name/title here)
EM: Entitled Medusa
TD: EM’s teenage daughter
Story:
So I was standing in front of a self-checkout after picking up groceries, and it was one of those days when I was feeling moody and was wallowing in self-pity. Suddenly, a Karen appears and cuts in line. She didn’t even stand in a correct spot for the social distancing; Just waltzed in front of me. She was with her teenage daughter, and the daughter already looked like she wanted to bury her head in the sand. Not wanting to deal with this, I decided to call her out
Me: Excuse me, but you just cut in front of me.
EM: No I didn’t. You are just slow
Me: Please get behind the line; I’ve been waiting
TD: Mom, he’s right, you aren’t even-
EM: No, I got this (turns back to me) I am not listening to someone so short (she was around 5’7″)
Me: ..What does that have to do with you cutting in line?
EM: You just don’t understand how our society works. No one’s going to listen to your Hobbit-ass
(People behind me went “oof”, and the daughter buries her face in her hands)
Me: (With nonchalant look)You don’t understand how our society works either; No one’s going to listen to your logicless-ass either.
She was left stunned, people snickered, and even TD was trying not to laugh. One of the checkouts became available, and I went around her to purchase my food. I thought this was the end, but no, EM wanted to win this bitter battle. She came up to me, used her arms to swipe everything off the counter.
EM: YOU WILL APOLOGIZES AND BUY MY GROCERY.
Me: No. I will not apologize for something I’m right about, let alone reward your child-like behavior
EM: I am older and wiser than you. You’ll listen to be-
Me: I am a senior at (state university), averaging 3.8 GPA. What’s your education?
TD: (chiming in, giggling) GED….
EM: (Her face goes red) I still have authority to ruin you. My husband is….
Me: Okay, I am gonna have to stop you right there. Tell me, have you done any sort of work aside from getting money from him?
EM: What does that have to do with-
Me: Have you endured any form of hardships, struggles, or problems to get to be where you are?
EM: (Finally shuts up)
Me: You see, that’s the difference between you and me; Regular folks like me had to work their asses off to get to achieve what they want, unlike you who had everything handed down because you opened your legs to some rich and powerful dude
EM was about to say more, but that’s when the manager and security dude arrived. Didn’t even need to take statements; Apparently she was banned from this store (didn’t figure out why) before. She was quickly escorted out, with TD trailing behind. People who were watching the whole thing offered to buy my stuff, but I knew I wasn’t that desperate. I simply went back to grab the items again and paid for it despite the manager insisting it will be on the house.
As I exited, TD was waiting for me and apologized for her mom’s behavior. I apologized for that last remark sounding like it was directed at her. She didn’t find it offensive but found it hilarious.